just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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