need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
