Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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