So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
