Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
