Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?

(609): View more from New Jersey

And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud

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(804): View more from Virginia

Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?

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(708): View more from Illinois

I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza

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(404): View more from Georgia

Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.

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(719): View more from Colorado

I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now

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