forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
