I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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