I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
