I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize