I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
