And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
