Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
