I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
