Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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