Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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