She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
