Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
