i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
