A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
