and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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