Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
