Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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