he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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