i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
