please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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