whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
