Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high