I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it