well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.