there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
