Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
