are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
