WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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