why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This house was built for laser tag.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
