i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
