My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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