He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
