She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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