Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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