normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
