wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize