White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize