glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
