I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
