We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
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Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize