sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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