I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
