You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
