I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize