I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
