is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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