he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
