Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
