Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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