I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
