There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My bed smells like the plague
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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