You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Fuck appropriateness.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
