And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
