It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
