i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
