Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
