He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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