Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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