Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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